Listening

I am a rule follower. I have said it often and it's never really bothered me that I follow rules. I mean, doesn't that mean that I have integrity? I suppose in moral evaluation rule following is great but I have discovered over this summer that it can also be a pressure point or a driver to some of my behaviors (can all my nurse friends say OCD).
I am marathon training. It's a feat! It's harder than I ever anticipated. It's as much mental as physical and sometimes I even wonder if mentally I've gotten soft (b/c I wouldn't have in the past considered myself soft). So, I have found that I lean to my "rule-follower" tendencies to keep me on track with my training plan. If the plan says I am running 6, 3, 5, 7, 12 this week then in the past, that's what I would be running...no matter what. Injury, fatigue, schedule, life, crisis, nothing would stop me. But I have found that this training is a "marathon, not a sprint" -- pun intended. I MUST LISTEN to my body; sometimes it can do the plan, sometimes it needs the plan to be modified. If I want to make it to Race Day healthy and prepared (mentally and physically), there has to be a balance between my listening skills and my "rule following." I know this is likely not news to many of you out there but this is a true epiphany for me. And, it doesn't just apply to running, it applies to life.
I said to a friend last week that I have discovered: I am best off when I allow guilt to result in grace.
My new commitment to myself is now to keep the end in mind and listen before I act.

~Sharon