Connecting Habits

When David I and first got engaged, he began to take my hand whenever we prayed. Whether we were in a corporate, small group, or private setting, every time prayer started, he would reach out and take my hand. It became a habit, not even a habit, but more of an expectation, something that we enjoyed. It connected us- physically and spiritually. Then a day came when if he was distracted and didn't reach for my hand, I reached for his- I had joined the habit.
I can't think of a time when we haven't held hands for prayer, if there was any way to be near each other at that time. Rarely, we'll pray over a meal at a large holiday gathering and we'll be on opposite sides of the room and just can't get to each other; in that case, we make eye contact before we bow our heads.
Now, this isn't a compulsion...it's a point of connection, a habit we developed rather unintentionally years ago. But, it's amazing. Why is it amazing?
Because in the good times and the bad, we connect.
Let's be honest marriage isn't easy. Two people falling in love and wanting to sacrifice a lot over the course of a lifetime, is a miracle in itself. There are going to be bumps along the way. Tough times, disagreements, frustrations, they will all happen. Having a 'connecting' habit is a great way to bring you back physically, emotionally, and spiritually to the good between you. It's a reminder that the bad isn't so bad and that 'this too shall pass.' There may be times, when these little connecting habits are all you've got or at least the best you've got in the communication department. I am not talking about when someone didn't do the dishes for the 100th time, even though it was their turn. I am talking about when there is a job change, a job loss, excessive work hours, disagreements over kids, money problems, addictions, extended family disputes, health crisis, mental instability, persistent schedule obstacles, and any number of other things a couple may face.
The simplistic beauty in this habit is that it's not entirely dependent on us. Even if we don't find (or prioritize) a time to pray together alone, we are going to be exposed to prayer- at church, in small groups, at meal time, at weddings, in lots of different places.
I wish we could say we planned it; this connecting habit is honestly one of the best things that ever happened to us...and we did it on accident!
And now, I am thrilled to say that the habit has spread to our kids. They love to try and reach out to grab our hand before we can even reach for theirs.

What habits do you have with a spouse, child, or other family member that connect you no matter what's going on in life?
What connecting habit would you like to start now?

~Sharon

"Different" (AKA Myrtle Beach Day 1)

We arrived in Myrtle Beach last night and today was our first full day on the beach. It was an awesome day (Praise God the weatherman was NOT correct in his forecast)!

“Different” is the key word for our trip; different than the other trips we have taken down to the beach because:

• · This time it’s not just the Simon Family, our great friends the Oswalds have joined us for vacation. We met Joel, Shauna, and Kylee almost immediately after arriving in Northern Virginia and we have been friends every sense. It’s always great to spend time with your friends, particularly when it’s fun stuff like: sun, surf, sand, and swimming. But, also, when you go on vacation with friends and you spend 24 hours a day together, you get to know each other on another level. You appreciate even more what you have in each other; already, I have learned more about my friend Shauna. I love how we are the same and I love how we are different.
• · This time the ladies started vacation without the guys. We departed on Sunday with all the kids and the guys will join us on Tuesday night. (A late departure for the guys was the best way to ensure that both families could go on vacation and that we wouldn’t need to bring 3 cars down to the beach.)
• · This time, the drive from DC to Myrtle Beach took about 2 hours longer. We stopped a bit more because of Cooper’s age, the toddler’s potty breaks, and the POURING rain (I could only drive 50mph for quite a while due to visibility---and I am not a slow driver).
• · This time, we are planning to Putt-Putt while we are in town. Myrtle Beach seems to be the Golf Capital of the World. And, I think that they have more miniature golf courses than any other city in America. Anyway, we have never putt-putted while in Myrtle Beach and this time we will hit one of the many, intriguing, creative, “over-the-top” courses. Now we just have to decide if we want to golf among waterfalls, fire-breathing dragons, pirate ships, or dinosaurs.

· I am sure that there will be other parts of this trip that are different than our other adventures in Myrtle Beach but the one thing that will not be different is that we are going to have a good time~

Dominican Republic Trip GROWS into Long-Term Missions

WOW!!!!!

We are so excited to share our friend Katie McFaddin with you. Katie was one of our teammates on the Dominican Republic (DR) Missions Trip in January. God has such big plans for Katie. He used the DR Trip, along with its people, our missions team, and the missionaries we served with to water a seed that He planted in Katie's heart.
I am including part of Katie's newsletter/announcement here. But the short story is that 7 days is GROWING into a YEAR of missionary service through Katie's willingness to listen to God's voice and take action on what God laid on her heart during the recent trip to the DR.

From Katie's Newsletter: I’ve shared with many that while I was on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic in January, 2009 that I felt called to serve on a long-term mission assignment, but I had no idea exactly what, where, when or how… After prayer and getting advice from other Christian friends, I interviewed for the World Race with Adventures in Missions. The World Race is a mission assignment to serve Christ in 11 countries in 11 months with a team of 50 young adults. In February, I found out that I was accepted to run the race!
…and then I developed a “Jonah-syndrome” and went back to the chaos of work and comforts of life in Washington, D.C. I’m grateful that God puts us back in our place because as of April 17, I was spewed out of the belly of the whale, or in other words, RIFFED along with a large chunk of my former co-workers due to major budget cuts.
I’m so grateful that God is in control and He’s working through me, calling me to be His hands, feet, mouth and heart in all parts of the world. I’m ready to go, serve, teach, and to be used by Him!

Katie's race will begin in August 2009 and will include the following locations: Cambodia, Egypt, Ireland, Israel, Jordan, Kenya, Romania, Thailand, Uganda, Vietnam and another country in Africa to be decided later.
If you are able, please consider supporting Katie. Prayers are always essential but consider financial support too. Katie will need to raise approximately $14,000 in the short-term just to embark on the journey and will need some additional support over the coming year. You can make a one time contribution or commit to monthly support. I assure it, it will not only be worth it but your contributions will have eternal value.

I am amazed at Katie's spirit, heart, and her willingness (in her words) to spend the year: ministering to the poor, sharing God’s love to widows and orphans, building community, growth, discipleship, and being a part of God's work all over the world. My greatest desire is to allow God to use me outside of my comfort zone and serve for His glory. During this trip, I will have the opportunity to pray for and minister to people who need to hear of salvation through Jesus Christ.

**Links to Katie's blog and support page are included.

My Grandma

I was watching my "DVR'd" episode of Grey's Anatomy today; it had the story of a old woman who dies after 3 years of having "a month to live." Her family is frustrated and worn out. I am not an overly sentimental person but the character said of her family, "they're my people, they are inpatient, but they are my people. Having people is better than not having people."
I have to say it made me cry. My Grandma Bettie Joe used to refer to "her people." Quite a feat for someone who was: adopted, struggled with inter-personal relationships, was rejected in her quest to discover her biologic family, lost her husband to cancer at age 39, raised her daughter alone in a time when single parenting wasn't normal, lost her son to cancer at age 68, and lived alone most of her life. She was Cantankerous and often even rude BUT, her heart was AMAZING. She loved people, she cared beyond imagination, she would give whatever she had for whoever was in need. She had never had a good example of how to love people and be "nice" --- so, she loved people, and wasn't nice most of the time. But, again, I say she was amazing. In her retired years, especially as her sight was waining, she read her Large-Print, falling apart Bible with a magnifying glass and she prayed most of the day; it was not a prayer you would hear in a church but a prayer that was honest and conversational with Jesus. A prayer centered around the needs of those she loved and everything she was thankful for. She also wrote my kids a letter EVERY week to tell them stories, give them history lessons, and to connect with them. (I have saved every one.)
Two years ago today, we buried her (on my birthday). Her sickness and death were sudden. She went to the hospital after a fall and died 5 days later from complications of a undiagnosed cancer, at age 81. She lived in her own home until she went into the hospital, and once she was sick, stayed alive until all her closest relatives had said their "good-byes." She didn't want to be in a nursing home and she didn't want assisted living. She was too independent for that. She lived on her terms and she died on her terms. She wasn't perfect, and who of us is?? But I can say, I loved her, I miss her, I can't wait to see her again in heaven and I am honored to remember her on my birthday.

How things get set in motion

This weekend I had the opportunity to marvel at how a master carpenter works. I am not going to share all the details but I will tell you that it takes pure genius and powers far beyond my capabilities to accomplish what God did…

11 years ago Sharon and I moved to the Pacific Northwest and as a seasoned professional in the soccer community I started refereeing soccer in the local area. This is where I met Tracy Kelly who was the treasurer of one of the leagues I served as a referee in. Tracy and her husband Alan became great friends of ours and they partook in some crazy adventures with us over the years. Their oldest daughter, Nicole, became our trusted babysitter in 2000. Through a series of events Nicole ended up moving to my home town of Youngstown, Ohio back in 2006. She is a paramedic and a wonderful gal.

This weekend I have to stop and say THANK YOU to Nicole for "doing her job". She was instrumental in a place and time where none of us could have influenced the situation.

BOTTOM LINE – God put in motion a story 11 years ago something that changed people's lives this weekend!

WOW…if you only knew the challenges between 1997 and today! How many times paths could have changed, people gave bad advice, road blocks appeared, and the situation looked bleak. And who could have imaged that being a referee in soccer would set in motion a chain of events that ended up saving someone's life?

I was reading several books and listening to a podcast today and here are some reflections:

1. If you succeed at the wrong thing you failed
   
2. People will criticize your choices but often can't grasp the bigger vision
   
3. Don't be ordinary – be EXTRAordinary
   
4. It's people who are willing to do the irresponsible thing that seems irrational who end up getting the responsible and amazing result
   
5. Ask yourself – What makes you cry, what makes you pound your fist, what makes you smile = YOUR PASSION
   
6. All too often we pick small dreams and accomplish them to fast – find big dreams and spend the rest of your life pursing them
   
7. When you step out in faith God will bless it.
   

 

Just QUIT!

I had to read a book that has a cover stating, “A LITTLE BOOK THAT TEACHES YOU HOW TO QUIT”.

The Dip by Seth Godin is a succinct 80 pages, presents glaringly obvious but understated facts. Not to be a cliché but this MUST read. Is it right to take an 80 page book and summarize it in one sentence? Know what will make you quit, why your quitting, and use quitting as a strategy…in other words, quit when you know you're on a dead end path. Godin states that most people fail because they either quit too fast and too often or they fail to quit pouring the resources into activities that they know will not pay off in the long run.

I am just as guilty as the next person; whether it be sports, academics, business, or relationships…it is hard for me to quit things and we all can get emotionally wrapped up in things and lose perspective. On the other hand I know people who never get passionate about anything and quit before it gets to hard.

Godin defines life-paths as curves. Of these there are two primary curves: The Dip and the Cul-de-Sac. The Cul-de-Sac curve is a dead end; you keep putting time, money, and effort into it and you just get nowhere. The Dip on the other hand looks something like this:

When you first start down a path, you are really excited about it so the reward is high. Additionally, other people are very happy for you and praise you - again, the reward is high. Then, in between the beginning of a task and its mastery, there is a potentially long period in which the reward vs. effort drops off. What the book guides the reader through questions and situations towards identifying whether your current struggle is a "dip" or a "cul-de-sac", and emphasizes that the moment you recognize that your situation is a dead end, that it is not only OK to quit, but it is, in fact, essential to success.

VERY FAST READ…I read slow and finished it in less than one afternoon.

One of the most interesting points I took away is that the world is becoming both smaller and bigger at the same time. While Thomas Friedman in The World is Flat shows us how the Internet has leveled the playing field…there is still room for small businesses if they put forward all their efforts to accomplish being #1 in their ‘niche’ market which can be defined by the product, the service, or the geography. In other words the world is infinitely small because of “The Best Pancake House in the World is in Conneat on the Lake”. How is this possible? It’s because Johnson’s Pancake House choose to be #1 in Pancakes serving Lake Erie. So are they really the best in the world? I don’t know but we all have made a similar statement about a product or service because someone choose to be #1 in their niche.

If you want to make sure your business strategy is on target, your marketing efforts aren’t in vain, have any doubts about what direction you are heading, whether all the exercise is worth it, then ask yourself 3 questions and see if you’re in the “DIP”.

Page 27 – The next time you're tempted to vilify a particularly obnoxious customer or agency or search engine, realize that this failed interaction is the best thing that's happened to you all day long. Without it, you'd be easily replaceable. The Dip is your very best friend.

Page 29 – ... the real success goes to those who obsess. The focus that leads you through the Dip to the other side is rewarded by a marketplace in search of the best in the world. A woodpecker can tap twenty times on a thousand trees and get nowhere, but stay busy. Or he can tap twenty-thousand times on one tree and get dinner.

Page 31 – It's human nature to quit when it hurts. But it's that reflex that creates scarcity. The challenge is simple: Quitting when you hit the Dip is a bad idea. If the journey you started was worth doing, then quitting when you hit the Dip just wastes the time you've already invested. Quit in the Dip often enough and you'll find yourself becoming a serial quitter, starting many things but accomplishing little. Simple: If you can't make it through the Dip, don't start.

Page 63 – Quitting is not the same as failing. Strategic quitting is a conscious decision you make based on the choices that are available to you. [and] Coping is a lousy alternative to quitting.

Page 66 – Sunk costs are not a good excuse to not quitting. Seth then goes on to challenge each of us to ask 3 questions which will help us determine where we are and if it is time to quit or stick it out…

Yikes! Twitter too...

Yikes, it has been a week since we have been on here. It is amazing how fast a week will zip by. Work has been really busy and the Colin is at Camp for the week. You would think our schedule would slow down but it hasn't. We went to dinner with a couple that we recently met and have become good friends with...Chad & Lindsey are great people! Love meeting new friends and building relationships.

Most of my adult life I was a firm believer in isolationism and liked my privacy. But over the years there were several close friends in the Pacific Northwest that we got to know and when we came to DC it became obvious how important and key those relationships were. Now we are rebuilding that network and close circle with people here in the DC and Northern Virginia area.

By the way...I signed up for a 'Twitter' account. For lack of a better description, it is where Blogging and Instant Messaging come together. The deal is you post shorter comments more frequently. I think I am going to use it to remind me of key events that I want to blog in more detail about and to let people know where we are and what we are up to.

Have a great rest of the week.

~David

A Wedding

Last weekend, we traveled to attend a wedding. This was not your traditional wedding but it turned out to be one of the best we’ve attended. Why? You ask.
Because it was an awesome example of family, connections, and how to be a Christ Follower.

The basic story is:
A couple we know was getting married. She is a new Christ Follower and her family is Hindu. Her family is from India and many of the guests would expect and accept nothing less than a traditional Indian Ceremony. How do you accomplish that when you can not endorse Hinduism or the adoration of other gods? Not to mention that his family, primarily Christ Followers, would be uncomfortable with the whole idea.

Well, let me tell you.

-They had the Christian Ceremony at Mars Hill Church at 1pm.
-They had an Indian Ceremony, full of heritage and tradition, at 4pm. (Courtesy of meetings with their pastor who helped keep them accountable to making sure that they did not allow heritage and other religion practices to mix.)
-They had the reception at 7pm at a restaurant.

So, what made it so great? We live in the world and we have to live our lives as a demonstration of who Christ is in that world. Christ spent His time with the people and in the community. Most times, He was with people or in situations that many would not have expected.
Now, I am not saying that it doesn’t matter where you are, what you do, or who you spend time with BUT offending others and living in judgment doesn’t help others see Christ. Sometimes it's our job to keep extending ourselves with love regardless of the circumstances. (similar to the 70 times 7 principle).
I often say that people can’t walk thru closed doors. They can only walk thru doors that are kept open (and it doesn’t hurt if there’s a light on inside).

We had the opportunity to live this principle at the wedding. As well, we got to connect with some incredible people who left the door open by choosing to live Christ and their convictions in a loving way, instead of succumbing to their fears, frustrations, and judgments. Can't wait to spend more time with these guys, even if it's only by e-mail and phone.

Biz Developer or Relationship Builder

Around 5pm I met up with Jamil Evans of Evans & Chambers Technology at Chima in Tysons Corner. I think that sometimes people in the business community get so caught up in the networking and business angles that they forget some basic things like stopping long enough to get to know people and build relationships. It was refreshing to sit and engage with a fellow entrepreneur and 'get history' with one another. Jamil and his partner have a great business (certified 8a small business too) that is growing, doing quality work, and provides top notch IT services.

On a different note...Jamil is just a genuine guy who is honest and sincere. Besides talking about what opportunities are out there to be chasing, we had a chance to talk about our families, travel, and the future. It always nice to hear successful people talk about wanting to do more than just make money. We spent time talking about the idea shared by Linda Ellis in 1996...'The Dash'. It is great to make money, it's exciting to have a growing and thriving business...but at the end of the day, I can't imagine saying to myself or those around me..."I wish I worked 3 more hours or I wish I stayed late more often." I am all about working hard and focus, but every once in a while it is important to sit with friends and other businessmen in the community and remember what things of significance we plan to accomplish.

After we hung out for several hours...I raced off to Car Max to join Sharon in our exciting Friday adventure involving the truck (see Sharon's post on being a single car family).

~David

Where did it go?

Where did the 11th week of 2008 go?


I just looked up at 1:40pm and realized I am just coming up for air. I didn't even stop for lunch today which is why I am stopping in the work day to blog...I NEEDED A BREAK. I think one of the most effective ways to be more productive is to PAUSE. It use to freak me out and I wanted to go, go, go...but all that did was lead to burn out, frustration, and often times strained relationships at home and work.

I am blown away at ALL of the areas God is challenging me to grown in (work, vision, faith, family, mission, finances, mentorship, relationship...just to name a few). I feel really good about the 'margins' I have and my choices of when to pause...even with the overwhelming stress I feel day to day in the market place. I firmly believe that my ability to close my eyes at night and know that I AM RIGHT WHERE GOD wants me is because:

1. Of a choice to rest - The single biggest one is my recent choice to really place emphasis on 'remembering the Sabbath' and having that day of rest (this one guidepost is a critical element to maintaining my margins)

2. An amazing women in my life (Sharon) who encourages me and loves me despite my bone-headed decisions sometimes

3. A mentor who is reminds me of what I am called to and keeps me grounded

4. Some amazing friends and leaders at NCC who I don't think realize how big a part they are playing in God's vision for the Simon's...

Just some quick FRIDAY REFLECTIONS!

~ David

National Prayer Breakfast

I attended the National Prayer Breakfast this morning. Every U.S. president since Dwight Eisenhower in the 1950s has attended the annual prayer breakfast. There were 4000 people from 150 different countries. In attendance was the President of the United States and the First Lady, several heads of state, Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff, Congressman and Senators from both sides of the aisle, and leaders from all over the world. It was awesome to see so many people in such positions of influence and leadership who came and gathered in the name of Jesus.

The Key note speaker was, Ward Brehm, a businessman who developed an interest in Africa through his church and now heads a government agency called the U.S. African Development Foundation, which helps small businesses in Africa (micro-loans). Brehm talked about his impressions of the continent, and how he became aware through his work in Africa that all peoples - rich and poor - share one human spirit.
"I will forever be indebted to Africa. Africa awakened me when I didn't even know I was asleep".

Father to Daughter

Awesome book by Harry Harrison, Jr.


Sharon picked this one up for me. I got some cool ideas for raising Sybella. When I read "Wild at Heart", I gained new insight as to why my boys act the way they do and what drives boys as they become men. Father to Daughter, is full of cute one liners, great ideas, and tips on dealing with that special little girl in your life.

One of my favorite words of wisdom is, "When you tell a boy not to stick something in an electrical socket, he will either stomp off or do it any ways. Girls will cry!" I have already seen this one. One of the ideas I walk away with is to buy her a nice necklace and then by charms for different events as she grows-up.

Again, well written book helping remind men in America that we need to be the example of how men should treat women and that lesson starts with treating are little girl right.

FSM

FSM is a new term I picked up..."Father Son Moment". Sunday night the boys asked me to play BATTLESHIP. You know, the game we all played at some point growing up. As a sidenote, we played on the actual set that my brothers and I played on when we were growing up. It is always fun to watch their mindset, strategy, and how the accept winning and losing. I work very hard to find time every week to sit down and engage one on one with the boys.

I am all for working hard, providing for your family, and putting your time in to be successful; however last time I checked there are 168 hours in the week...do you realize that if we all spent just 1 hour a day with our children that would be less than 1/2 % of our week?

Everyone has time to sit down and engage with children. Take time over the holidays to have quality time with the children.

~David

Being a Servant Leader

I met James Hunter back in 2006 and was impressed by his sincerity, candor, and vision. In his book, "The Servant", we read about the life of a business executive John Daily. Hunter does a wonderful job of weaving the timeless principles of servant leadership into the story of John Daily, whose outwardly successful life is spiraling out of control (I been there & felt that)!

If you don't like to read 'teaching' books and looking for a relaxing read, this is great story that incorporates passive learning.

He is failing miserably in each of his leadership roles as boss, husband, father, and coach. To get his life back on track, he reluctantly attends a weeklong leadership retreat at a remote Benedictine monastery. To John's surprise, the monk leading the seminar is a former business executive and Wall Street legend. Taking John under his wing, the monk guides him to a realization that is simple yet profound:

The true foundation of leadership is not power, but authority, which is built upon relationships, love, service, and sacrifice.

The book enumerates the following as the qualities of a servant leader...
1. Patient - showing self-control
2. Kind - giving attention, appreciation, and encouragement
3. Humble - being authentic without pretense or arrogance
4. Respectful - treating others as important people
5. Selfless - meeting the needs of others
6. Forgiving - giving up resentment when wronged
7. Honest - being free from deception
8. Committed - sticking to your choices

All these behaviors will entail you to serve and sacrifice for others. This would mean setting aside your own wants and needs to focus on the legitimate needs of others.

~David