Meltdown

All the parents reading this title know exactly what a meltdown is...it's the moment at which your child's resources, reserves, and rational responses evaporate. Usually a meltdown comes when they are beyond tired, in a growth spirt, &  haven't eaten. The trigger for the meltdown is totally unrelated to it's cause and is usually so ridiculous that the parent can't see it coming. One minute everything is fine and then you put lunch on the blue plate instead of the green plate and it's as if lightening has struck. There is no real solution to the meltdown. It requires time, rest, food, love, and patience. Once it passes, it's over; over that is, until the next time.
Interestingly, meltdowns are not exclusive to children. They are universally human.
They happen when our margin is gone. Think of margin like the margin on a sheet of paper. It's there for a reason. It gives the visual boundaries necessary to write and read a page properly. It's a place for a teacher or editor to put notes or corrections. It's a place to put extra or forgotten information.
In everyday life, margin is our reserve - the place where we absorb unexpected or overloading circumstances to our time, emotions, & finances. The margin is a temporary extension of our abilities. We are designed to live inside the boundaries of the margins; we can only sustain expenditures of time, efforts, or finances to a certain amount and then to need rest and restoration.
When we find ourselves instead living IN the margins on a consistent basis, we are on dangerous ground. We are going to be prone to meltdowns and unfortunately, the meltdown isn't the worst of it-- it can get much worse. It can lead to financial ruin, unbearable stress, decreased effectiveness, health problems, damaged relationships, and much more. The meltdown is your warning. It's a red flag that says, "Get back inside the margins before you break or break someone else."
Last week, I had a meltdown. I don't even know what the trigger was- I can't remember. But I know that I was reduced to a child-like meltdown. Tears and all. I had spent the week living IN the margins.
In no particular order these were the circumstances:
1. sick kid
2. no quality sleep x3 days
3. major project due for a kid
4. kid with classes 2 nights that week
5. orchestra concert
6. week 2 of my diet
7. race training (running)
8. spouse out of town for 10 days
9. unexpected (bad) interim school report for a kid
10. 2 projects due for my non-profit volunteer work
11. First week of swim lessons
12. Sore throat and allergies for me
and who knows what else.....
Thankfully, it was late in the evening. I put the kids in bed and just fell to my knees (literally) to pray. I love our big family and I support my hubby's travel schedule, but sometimes in managing it all, I forget that I don't have to carry it all too. God wants to carry it with me and for me.
Over and Over again, I see how Psalms 40:1-3 rings true in my life:
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord."

I am glad this meltdown was short and now I have a re-centered perspective for both my kids' meltdowns and an a reminder to stay out of the margin.
~Sharon

A New Stage of Life

It's not unusual with four kids to feel like you are in Taxi Driver Stage- the time in which you seemingly serve only as a means of transportation for everyone's activities. This stage occurs a few years after Bessie the Milk Cow Stage- filled with breast or bottle feeding CONSTANTLY and the Potty Pooper Stage- a time in which your party IS the potty, poop, accidents, back-breaking hovering and much clothes washing.  None the less, the Taxi Driver Stage is as time consuming and messy (and filled with sheer joy and laughs!) as the stages before it.
Today, however I got a glimpse of a total different stage that I had never seen before (not sure that I like it either). I'm calling it the Mass Exodus Stage- the stage at which you don't just run your kids around, dropping them off for an hour or two, rushing back to pick them up again. In this stage, the kids are old enough to have day-long or in fact, weekend-long activities, routinely; I'm not just talking summer camp. I'm talking regularly scheduled calendar-worthy all-day activities.  What?!   Next, you'll tell me that they'll be driving (in just 3 short years) to these things- I may end up calling that the Scared S*#@less Stage.
HOW did I get here? 
Well, an egg meets a....oh, sorry, I meant- How did I come to this revelation today?
Connor is in Ohio with his aunt and uncle this weekend. Colin spent Saturday snowboarding with his small group and then, to compound the sense of exodus, Sybella, my 4year old, went out to play with a 1st grade neighbor and her older brother. I was left at home with just one young son. That's a 75% reduction in labor, distraction, entertainment, and sweet, sweet moments. To top it off, David left for a week-long business trip- so he couldn't even make it feel like I was getting much deserved time off from the work of motherhood.
I am tearing up just writing this. I typically celebrate the passing of stages and talk fondly of a time in life without the obligations that come along with kids- but this weekend, the Mass Exodus made me stop and 'feel' their departures. I have SO much respect for the moms I know who are sending first and second children off to college. I am saying a long prayer of thanks today that I have an 11 year span between my oldest and youngest- at least I will get to ease into these stages of aging children that lead us to the  Empty Nest.

What Stage are you in right now? What do you love best about it?
~Sharon

Thumbs!

Sybella loves her baby brother and will support him in ANYTHING....even if that means taking up thumb sucking.

Now, many of you know that Colin sucked his fingers when he was little and I determined that I would NEVER have a finger baby again. I practically shoved the pacifier into Connor, Sybella, and Cooper. My rationale: you can throw away pacifiers when they should be gone and I can't cut off fingers. Colin sucked his fingers at night for a lonnnggggg time and I could just hear the orthodontic bills "cha-chinging" away!

What may you ask did I do then when Cooper, my fourth and final baby decided last week (after lots of pacifier training I might add) to start toying with the idea of sucking his thumb???

Well, I'll tell you!

First, I took a picture quick, I mean it's absolutely adorable!

Next, I reminded myself that there is NO room for the word "NEVER" in parenting; I should have known better.

And Last, I decided that since: everyone in our family has had braces and both Colin and Connor have recently gotten head gear in preparation for braces (one was a finger baby and the other a pacifier baby), the odds were against us no matter what Cooper does.

So, I am offering the pacifier, which he sometimes takes, but smiling fondly on the occasions that he chooses his thumb. We'll see what happens.