Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Conflict or Harmony
It's interesting, I suspect that people would say of me, "She doesn't mind conflict. In fact, she likes it." That's true but it's also totally not true... What?!
Let me explain. I have an analytical mind, I enjoy a debate (I get that from my dad). I have no problem with conflict in which there can be resolution. And that resolution, does not have to be me being right. I am happy to be wrong (just show me), I am happy to apologize, I am happy to compromise, I am happy to form a different opinion based on sound reasoning or fact.
Conflict in which I feel powerless, meaning: conflict in which there is not transparency, conflict in which there are malicious motives, conflict in which communication isn't present, conflict in which my motives have been assumed, conflict that is riddled with gossip, or conflict in which people assume that I don't get me feelings hurt--- these are the conflicts in which I do not do well with! They grieve me. I use the word 'grieve' in the most serious of connotations, GRIEVE me, they cause me physical ailment. I wrestle with them.
I am desirous of peace, desirous of reconciliation (I get this from my mom).
Where is all this coming from?
I didn't have some crisis in my life, I didn't have some major conflict or falling out yesterday. (Promise.)
I was reading this morning and came across this:
Ps 133:1 (NLT) How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony!
Ps 133:1 (NIV) How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!
This just struck me... I have lots of people in my life: family, friends, neighbors, associates, organization peers. There is conflict in these situations. Anytime you are in relationship with people for more than a year, there will be conflict (for many, it could take a day). All it takes is enough interactions to get past the superficial.
However, I am in a season of my life where there is peace. (in same cases, it's absence of conflict, in some it's mature relationship where conflict is easily resolved, and in some cases, it's just grace-filled situations paired with forgiveness.) It makes life so smooth. Harmony is wonderful and pleasant. It provides for so much freedom. Freedom to spend my energies elsewhere. Freedom to be creative and explore (which takes focus for me). Freedom to grow, engage, and flourish. Harmony is a gift. A gift that I am Thankful for...
I love the holidays and what I love most about the holidays is having family and friends around. I don't get to have all of my family around like I wish (many of them live FAR away or cost is just too much, or they have other family to visit). But I am so thankful for both our family and friends. And in this season of celebrating Thanksgiving, this passage spoke volumes to me about the blessings of harmony.
(And for all you natural debaters out there, no I don't think absence of conflict is all good or should last forever...I am just grateful for peace in this season of my life.)